Don’t Let the Humble Bugs Steal Your Pie

I was served up a heaping slice of humble pie a number of weeks ago.  But instead of it being a juicy, ooey-gooey, pastry crusted pile of quick-learn-this-lesson, it was a bunch of tiny bugs laying eggs and nibbling on my scalp.  Ferociously nibbling.

You see, I have a bit of back story to add here.  We are in the process of getting licensed to become foster parents for refugee children coming into our country.  We’ve done trainings, quizzes, background checks, and a small sustainable forest’s worth of paperwork.  Once past that initial round of Please Complete All of These Items, I went above and beyond by prepping a lice kit, mounting framed emergency contacts to the wall, and collecting comfort items for kids that will stay with us.

The Ultimate Lice Kit

So here I was: fully armored with a savior complex.  Being über prepared meant I could solve all problems that would come our way once we had additional children staying with us.  I even went as far as adding tea tree oil to my shampoo as a preventative measure to lice as recommended by a few friends.

But shortly after adding the oil to my massive bottle of shampoo, my scalp started reacting poorly to it.  It felt irritated, itchy at the base of my neck, and I was cursing myself for having wasted a salon-sized-bottle of shampoo by adding an oil that my skin had never been exposed to in the past.  SILLY ME.

After a week of scratching, and trying a different shampoo, and being blindly perplexed as to why my scalp still felt like crap, the humble bugs really sunk their teeth into me.  I was notified that we had been exposed to lice (yes, I’m sure most of you already figured out this punch line of the story) a few weeks prior, and that tea tree oil I had added?  It wasn’t preventative.  It was laughing at me because the lice had already been vacationing in my hair follicles well before I dribbled the oil into my shampoo bottle.

I’ll spare you all the sordid details of freaking out over combs with moving creatures stuck in them, or killing the creepy little guys via cooking them in the dryer, or drowning them in the washer, or freezing the life out of them in a chest freezer.  But I will say this: when you are usually the one that cares for the sick child under your roof, or you’re the one to clean up after a stomach bug, or you’re making meals for other people in hardship, it is a very humbling feeling to know you can’t do all of it for yourself when YOU are the one that has lice chewing on your scalp.  Here I was: long blonde hair, curly stubborn strands that easily tangle, and I needed to apply a treatment AND use the tightest-set-teeth of a comb catching any little bugs and their sticky tiny little eggs.  Those eyes that all moms have in the back of their heads?  They don’t do squat for picking nits out of your own hair.

Long Curly Hair Combing

Brad was a trooper combing through my strands as I criticized his every stroke of the comb (all while feeling strands yanked from my head because of its inherent tangled-ness).  This experience taught me that we do not partner well on having a dude with straight hair comb through his Type A wife’s wildly curly hair – much like we aren’t allowed to play Scrabble against one another because (BRAD IS A CHEATER, “ZA” IS NOT A WORD PEOPLE ACTUALLY USE) turns out our mismatched competitiveness doesn’t blend well in that classic game.

So what was I to do?  My shiny savior complex was melting away.  We hadn’t been licensed yet to accept refugee kids into our home, and I was already breaking out my newly minted Lice Kit.  You can insert a hearty laugh from the universe here.  It was very march deserved on my naive self.

Shower Cap + Towel Cape = Awesome Look

My own scalp savior came in the form of my best friend’s mom.  After I managed the treatment, she graciously combed through every strand, inspecting it, and pulling out any remaining nits.

Why write about this?  Why share this story of humbleness and vulnerability and melting savior complexes?  Well, for one, lice can come at you from many places.  You don’t have to be experiencing traumas in your home country, travel afar to seek asylum and protection, then pick up lice in the detention center where you are held until shuffled to a temporary home while your immigration fate is decided (I have lots to say about that process, but that will be for another time).  We make assumptions that We the Privileged aren’t directly affected by these kinds of things, and that only we have the power to fix it.  Instead, we all have our own vulnerabilities, our own instances of humbleness, our own stories of “Oh, I had it all wrong.”

Secondly, I want to put this super weird offer out there.  It mostly only pertains to local people, but if you are put in a situation where you have creepy crawly bugs in your hair, and you don’t have someone to help treat your hair and comb through the strands, keep me in mind.  (Also, there are fancy salons that do it for big money.  Google it.)  That feeling of helplessness with an irritated scalp stuck with me, and I’m certain not everyone out there has a go-to-person for getting lice out of your hair.

And thirdly, if ever you are exposed to lice, I would encourage you to try a seemingly homeopathic route, but it has a much better outcome than the chemical treatments.  Turns out, these little buggers are getting resistant to the chemical treatments, and often require multiple treatments to fully clear out your scalp.  You can search online for more specific instructions, but the basic concept is to take coconut oil, add drops of tea tree oil to it, smother your hair and scalp with the goopey stuff, pop on a shower cap, and wait for the bugs to suffocate and the nits to become inactive (an hour or two).  Take a nit comb and comb every last inch of scalp and hair, making sure to clear out all bugs and tiny nits/eggs.  Shampoo 8 bajillion times to clear out all the oil, and then you are good to go.  Retreat in a few days if you’re still seeing anything going on with your scalp.

There you have it.  My humble bugs have taught me many things, and I now have first-hand experience in dealing with lice.  Have you ever been humbled down to the core of your metaphorical scalp?  Ever build up a powerful savior complex in solving the world’s problems, only to have it melt from your body once faced with reality?

Stay humble my friends,

~M

P.S.  If you’re feeling squirmy and scratchy and as if you have creepy crawlies hanging out in your hair follicles, I wouldn’t be too worried.  It’s a natural response when reading about these itchy little nibblers.  But if you happened to have these sensations before reading this post, I would have someone check your scalp and hair just to be safe.  You never know!